The sun shines and my eyes barely open..."what time is it?...", it's 5mins before 8:00am. It is still early, taking a bath would only take 20mins... I can still get some more sleep...Church would start by 9am and it is only 10 mins away... clock snoozed...
30 mins later...
Rush to the bath room, take a bath for 15 mins, grab a dress, fix my hair, look at the mirror, take 3 rounds to my room and out change my outfit, look at the mirror and grab a pair of shoes, text/face the mirror while waiting for the time, look at the mirror then leave. Arrive at Church, prepare for the Sunday Service as a back-up or Worship Leader...
That was my sunday life, 3 years ago, no responsibilities, it's just me and myself. But everything changed when I became a Mom...
No More Me...
The sun shines and my eyes barely open, no need to know what time it is, as long as I can see that ray of light striking my bed as if saying it is time to get up. No more snoozing (though sometimes I really can't help it), no more going back to sleep.First things first, clean the feeding bottles, take a bath, wake up my hubby and baby, iron the clothes that they are going to use (sometimes it includes mine), dress my baby, put on my Sunday clothes, prepare the bag with all my baby's needs while brushing my hair, look at the mirror, grab my shoes and then leave. Arrive at Church, sit as an ordinary member, or sometimes stay in the Children's room because my baby wont let me leave his sight.
It was a drastic change that it had been a tough transition. Being a Mom is accepting that life is not about you any more, it is now about your family. From mine to their, from me to them. It takes so much time for me to accept that I have to surrender most of my own happiness for the happiness of my family.
I became so Spiritually drained, because everything that I had when I was single have been gone little by little. I can't sing my praises without being disturbed by my baby asking for his milk. I can't attend the Music Ministry practice without looking at the time and rushing back home because I need to prepare our dinner.
How can I serve You now?
I came to the point of giving up, and letting my Spiritual life go drain itself. Then a huge wave of trials came in, physical and spiritual struggles join hand in hand that I decided to give up my ministries to give way to my family and face all my struggles. I got this thought, "maybe being a Mom and God's servant wont really go well".
Deep inside me is a woman thirsty for God's ministries, crying and filled with sadness and bitterness. Inside me is a woman trying to escape the life I am in that moment, hoping that I can turn back my time and enjoy being me and myself again.
With great sadness and bitterness I asked God, is this what you want for me? To become
nothing? To become another ordinary member of this Church? Without knowing that God is teaching me something I must know.
Discovering my New Ministry
God gave me enough time to calm myself. He gave me space so I can clear my mind. He gave me courage to face my struggles and provided me the solutions. He gave me peace of mind and cleans my heart with bitterness. He did it and let His grace flow freely from my heart to my mind and made me see the ministry that he entrusted to me 3 years ago. A ministry that I neglected and sometimes rejected... The ministry of being a Mom and Wife.
Many women and Moms to be exact were called to minister in the Church and most of the time forgets to minister in their own family. Let us keep in our hearts that our Family also came from our Lord, and that he also dwells in the midst of it. Neglecting them or putting it behind everything else aside from God would ruin it and you as well.
As a Mom, Wife and follower of Christ, I urge you to embrace the ministry of being a Godly wife and Mom to your family. Be the wife that God wants you to be and see how the grace of God flows within every single member of your household and with their mouths they will declare that a Godly wife is a real treasure every husband can ever have.
"A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies" Proverbs 31:10